Friday, June 9, 2017

I try to Smile

My heart is heavy and trembling cold
Its rhythmic beat loud in my ears
My lips quiver as I try to smile 
Pushing away thoughts which bring me to tears.  
That rhythm falters when you turn your gaze towards me 
I await that familiar look,  a nod, your loving smile, 
I wait for your arms to open, your eyes into mine. 
You look at me… but your mind  is far away 
Delved into your ambitious troubles 
Figuring out through it all a way. 
“I’m doing this for you”, he says,  
“To take care of you when I’m gone”
But why am I grieving now,  when you’re still with me.. 
Craving for your touch, your attention, your love 
In silence I’m watching you and I’m mourning 
I’m mourning and grieving the loss of love,  laughter and romance
I need your happiness so I keep silent 
As I watch you,  I wait for it, days,  months turn into years…. 
For your contentment , your moment, your peace 
In your happiness lies mine, I try to smile. 

Friday, February 5, 2016

Like A Wilting Flower

Like a wilting flower lives,
Drooping day by day,
Trying to lift, trying to smile,
With nothing more to say…

The fragrance had left its body
The charm was next to go,
The poise and youth betrayed its soul,
Vibrant colors no more.

Watching people passing by,
Not a glance they dared to throw,
Thinking back that once nearby,
It was the center show.

For happiness or despair,
For love or console,
It’s the flowers who get torn from its roots,
Left to wilt and die alone.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Barren Heart

Barren Heart

....not a sound to be heard,
not a beast in sight....not even a bird.
so quiet it is as I look up the sky,
I'm filled with memories so bitter,
.... my feelings die.
As I look around me alone with my mind
it's an emptiness I see
and in my heart I find.
   This is my life, so barren and quiet,
I slipped and fell hard, 
no help in sight!
Where did they all go , 
disappeared without a trace....
the one's I loved and cared, 
all now without a face.
It's like a glass cage I'm in 
all hollow does it seem
I play my part as a puppet does,
then retreat back into my dream.
no thoughts to be heard,
no memories play ,
all feelings seared.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

If Only You Could....

In poignant silence I await your warmth beside me,
My heart shrieks in yearning calling your name over and over,
If only you could hear....

I frantically reach out in the darkness, roused from my nightmare,
I cringe at the vacant space beside me,
If only you could care....

My heart beats fervently when I hear your footsteps walk towards me,
It pounds violently when I hear you walk away,
If only you could feel....

I'm drained of my tears which silently gush down in anguish,
I'm dying a little.....everyday,
If only you could see....

I'm tired of needing you; I'm tired of waiting,
I want to squeeze my heart till it beats no more,
before my loneliness smothers me,
If only you knew....

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Shaken Out of Love

Confusion clouds over my mind
There’s something I want, but cannot find,
What is wrong, what is right?
I’m choking on love; I can feel its might.

I’m being shaken from my lovely dream,
I feel so mad, I want to scream!
Agitation makes my blood boil,
The pain I feel, is my heart in turmoil.

I loved so much, why the hate,
I cannot make the pain abate.

I fail to see what wrong I made,
My life isn't mine anymore, I can see it fade.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Waiting to Exhale...


The sound of silence ringing in my ears,
My lips taste the saltiness of my tears,
I’m alone ,empty and I’m weeping,
I’m alive enough but barely breathing.
I need a touch , I need a smile
I need to know if u’ll stay awhile
The walls of darkness crush my hollow soul,
I need to breathe , I’m falling into a black hole,
I struggle to see, the light of the day
I can only see the dark sun, as I drift away,
I slip into nothingness I’m waiting to exhale......
help me , I want to live ,smile and breathe again.....

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I saw her…..

The water softly lapping against the rocks,
A beautiful warm sunny day for a walk.
Something shone in the suns glare,
It was a girl with long golden hair.
Something was different about this one
Never seen golden hair so radiantly spun,
The comb she held was studded with jewels,
The more she combed the more it glimmered with the colors of the sun.
She sang a beautiful tune which instantly made my heart dance,
I was filled with happiness and awe in a wondrous trance.

My joy suddenly turned to horror when she lunged forward and jumped into the sea,
Before I could scream out I saw a gleam,
It was a fish’s tail, the color of the brightest aquamarine,
I looked on in amazement, I could hardly breathe,
For a moment I thought our eyes met,
She flashed a pearly smile and dived in.
My heart raced and my head whirled,
When at last I caught my breath
I couldn’t believe what I just saw,

I had seen her……. I saw a Mermaid!